It was useless to regret standing in her doorway and walking through. It was senseless to have shame or doubt or whatever else because that’s not what she wanted when she called me, and it certainly wasn’t what she wanted when she turned and saw my face and asked me if everything was okay and if I wanted something to drink or eat or any of those pleasantries that are tossed so faintly into the open but they’re transparent and thin and weak little ghosts of a dying relationship that fly with the wind as soon as we acknowledge why I’m really here.

There was fear in her eyes, in certain lights, and I would catch it every now and then. We sat on her couch awkwardly and at a strange distance as our bodies didn’t know how close or how far to be from each other.

I didn’t think she wanted to talk. It was simply too soon. And I knew that I was also struggling to understand what happened last time, and why I made her cry— no, why it felt the way it did to make her cry, and to make her bleed. “Get up,” I finally said, even though we had just sat down. I issued another command: “Bedroom.”

She reached for the hem of her shirt— this large, oversized thing with an oversized scoop-neck that slung off her shoulder— while walking and I batted her hands away. She turned her head and I placed my hand on the nape of her neck and guided her the fifteen more steps to the edge of the bed. I wanted to undress her.

Grabbing at the shirt I slowly raised it off her body and her arms went up with it. Noticing a thin tank top underneath it, I bunched up the two fabrics and brought them up together. At her neck I guided the shirts over her head and the short brown hair fluffed a little. The pair were thrown towards the closet and her back was bare to me.

I lay a hand between her shoulder blades and pushed until she leaned forward onto the bed. Her knee raised as if to crawl onto it but I held her hips and brought her ass against me— my cock already lewdly forming a tent in my slacks. Silently, she stood bent over and I reached my fingertips under the waistband of her tights. I didn’t feel another band of elastic. I didn’t see panty lines.

With a quick yank I pulled the dark gray tights down off her ass and to her mid thigh. The elastic stretched but still dug into her skin and her ass blossomed up and out of it. I might have heard her gasp in surprise.

This is how I left her and she wisely didn’t move as I stepped back and unknotted my tie, the silk scratchy and rough and very audible in the silent room. It rubbed against my collar with a vhurr and I undid my shirt, button by button, each almost with a snap. I slid the shirt off my shoulders and laid them on top of an open drawer of her dresser. The belt buckle clanged a little and it too vhurred out of the belt loops of my dress pants. The zipper zipped and I stepped out of my pants and boxers and socks.

She was waiting, very patiently.

My bare footsteps brought me behind her and I placed my left hand on her left ass cheek and the skin was cold to the touch. My thumb was at her tailbone and I held it firm. I raised my right hand and my arm loaded with tension and even though she lay with her chest on the bed and her head on its side she could only see the left side of my body and the sound of something moving through the air came to her at about the same time as my hand landed flush on her ass and the skin rippled and gave way with the deafening slap surprising even me as I realized I hit her harder than I had planned but thoughts were out the window at this point as my hand pulled back and off her skin but I didn’t look at it or her ass cheek as I heard her yelp now and my hips thrust forward and cock violently shoved inside her slippery wet cunt creating a louder yelp— mid-yelp— and maybe we can call it a cry now.

I didn’t move and I was pushed in her as far as I could go with her legs unable to spread apart because of the waistband of her tights round her thighs. I felt the wetness around my cock and maybe even against the top of my balls but really my mind was to her back trembling and her hands grabbing fistfuls of the blanket and sheets as she cried into the bed. I let her notice that I stood still. She gulped back her tears. She swallowed and she said my name.

Grabbing her waist I bent my knees and loaded my weight and pulled out of her entirely before ramming in again with her pussy almost sucking me back in. She buried her face into the bed and her ass up with her on her tiptoes and absorbing each thrust and push and my legs burning with lactic acid and maybe I even grunted in exertion. Each time out the cold air splashed against the head of my cock and each time in the heat burning all the way to the base.

I was able to reach down and I tore at her tights as she raised one leg and we somehow got them around her knees and she was able to crawl up onto the bed as I followed her while still crashing my cock in and out of her pussy. Her foot pulled out of the tights and was ice against my knee and we managed to both climb onto the bed, her head still down and her hips still propped up with her knees. She was pushing back as much as I was pushing forward and I could feel the sweat forming on her back.

The underside of my cock was rubbing right against the front wall of her pussy and I panted and shut my eyes and felt the swell at the tops of my thighs and my ass clench. She had raised her upper body up on her elbows and whimpered. I came first, and my cock felt like it grew twice as thick or she became twice as tight. Shuddering, she sucked in a breath and shook and came right as I jerked and twitched hard in her cunt. Somehow we’d stopped moving but the room was still spinning as if still had to catch up to our frenzied motions.

And she melted as soon as I pulled out of her, lifeless and spent on the bed, soaking the sheets in a puddle of cum and sweat underneath me, and this transition to the liquid state is where we’ll leave it all for now.